I’m sick and man, it’s not as sweet as it used to be.

Pros of being sick as a child:

1) The world practically stops to take care of you.

2) Massive amounts of television is watched and nobody can say anything because you’re a  tiny human that feels sick.

3) You skip school.

4) You get to lie in bed all day and not feel guilty.

5) You go back to school and people are so happy that you’re back.

Pros of being sick as an adult:

1) You can… drive yourself to the doctor?

Cons of being sick as a child:

1) Can’t think of any.

Cons of being sick as an adult:

1) Literally, nobody cares besides passing “How are you feeling” texts that are sent out of social obligations like some sort of Rousseauian social contract.

2) The world does not stop even if you do.

3) You still have to go to work and school if you are not bleeding on people or otherwise outwardly showing signs of near death.

4) You have to cook for yourself when you’re sick and that means thinking.

5) Staying in bed makes you feel guilty.

6) People hate you because they know you are the transporter of sick germs.

Good thing for sleep, there’s always sleep.

– Daughter